To quote the rapper Common:
"There’s so much in a name and so much more in you."
My name was always something I struggled to accept. Growing up, I always wished it were different… something less complex and more "normal." (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)
How I Got Stuck With "Shy"
In 2003, I joined my high school's cheerleading squad. I was excited because I had made the decision to try out on my own and was chosen for the team. Shortly after, one of my teammates (we'll call her Beth, for context) decided my name was "soooo hard to say" and asked, "Can I just call you ‘Shy’ instead?" I had never been called that before. But at age 16, I cared more about being accepted than being called by my actual name, so I obliged. Later that year, my family heard someone call me "Shy" and they had the most confused look on their faces. "Who was that girl calling Shy?! That's not your name… and you are NOT shy!"
But I was now... by name, at least.
It Continued...
From that point forward, I was Shy. And while the Beth’s of the world were no longer struggling to say my real name, others were constantly badgering me to explain my nickname, usually asking if it was because I was shy-natured. (I am definitely not.) Truthfully, as I continued walking around as Shy – someone hiding from her real name, constantly assumed to be timid – parts of my true self began to shut down. My nickname was consuming me.
Towards the end my 20's, as I was growing more into myself, I confronted the issue. I understood shortening my name was easier and more comfortable for people, but I was struggling with the why… Why is it so hard to pronounce my three-syllable name? Why have I let it go on this long? Why am I uncomfortable talking about this? It got worse when it came time for companies to write me checks and they were putting “Shy” as my first name. That's when I finally thought, "This HAS to change. People don't even know my real name!”
Year 30
By my 30th birthday, I had rediscovered Shiedha and the self-acceptance that had disappeared somewhere on that cheer mat back in high school. After spending a great deal of 2017 doing some much-needed soul-searching, I remembered the importance of being my true, authentic self for my family, friends, clients and, most importantly, myself. In the process, I began to gain clarity about what it is I want to be known for. Did I want my legacy to be BeautybyShy (my former brand name)? Was that name and brand truly reflective of me, or did I want to be known for a name so unique that once you heard it you wouldn't forget it? Then it clicked. I wanted my brand to be centered around my name – and my acceptance and awareness of it. And those concepts of self-acceptance and self-awareness are what I aspire to pour into every person I come into contact with.
Shiedha O.
While I still answer to both names, I’m more open than ever to talk about the Arabic and Native American roots that were considered when naming me (and correcting people when they say my name wrong, instead of just shortening it for them). So thanks, Mom and Dad, for not going with your original thought to name me Ashley. (No shade to the Ashley's of the world!) And cheers to everyone out there fighting the good fight to be called whatever name they prefer! But for now, my goal is to grind until the name Shiedha O. is so well known this post is laughable and the brand it represents is respected for its integrity, hard work, and inspiration.
XO,
Shiedha O.
